One of my friends is 90 years old, and he says, “I have sex almost every day! Virtually every day but I don’t quite get there”, that’s called low libido. It’d be nice to be having sex, but nothing’s happening down south.
We have a lot of articles that we’ve written on this website about increasing testosterone, balancing male hormones and avoiding premature ejaculation but this focus is on low libido.
I want you to understand a lot which is involved in low libido. First of all, straight off the top, as a man’s testosterone levels decline his desire becomes less. This is very well known, libido is the desire for sex!
My desire for sex becomes less as my testosterone levels become lower or as my estrogen levels get higher. As men’s estrogen levels get higher, it forces that push for “I want to have sex, I will do whatever it takes, I will overcome, I’ll climb the mountain, I’m going to get there, going to have sex” etc.
The more you get female hormones, the less motivated you going to be.
What’s happening is that our foods today have female hormones in them, meaning that they put estrogen into the cattle, into the chickens, and into the pigs to fatten them up. And so, you’re eating as if it’s not hormone free; you’re eating estrogen pills, that’s basically it!
Your testosterone levels will go down; it will start causing your libido to go down. If you’re taking antidepressants, it will cause your libido to go down, and if you’re married, this will also cause your libido to go down.
What? What Did I Say?
This is a widespread experience today. When men love a woman, in the beginning, they have a powerful libido, and that desire becomes less and less and less. It doesn’t have to be that way, but that is what’s happening today.
Couples who say, that they are stressed, the kids or blame it on their business or whatever else it maybe are not giving the full picture. When you are single, you could even be a single parent with kids and stress from the business but when you’re single – Kabang! You will still have a libido, and you’re motivated to go after it.
So, What’s The Story There?
What is it about marriage that lowers your libido and what can you do to keep your libido up if you’re married or you’re in love with someone.
Bear in mind, if you’ve got heart conditions, it can be that your circulation is insufficient, and you won’t be able to have erections, but you’ll still have a libido. If you don’t have a libido, then that’s a testosterone issue.
By the way, when it comes to men not being able to get it up for their partner, they think “oh I’m impotent, must be that my circulation isn’t enough, I need to take Viagra” which is nonsense, this is not good for you. Also, you’ll want to get to the root cause of why you don’t have erections? – That’s because you’re not making enough testosterone, period!
What I find is that in 80% of the cases where men are impotent, and they can’t get it up with their wives, they think it is just a physiological problem and believe that it’s circulation that is the limiting factor, which could be the case. But, they do a test by putting a little plastic ring (cock ring) around their penis before they go to bed. If it breaks that means that they had an erection while they were sleeping.
Men have erections throughout the night that they are not aware of. So, when they wake up, and then they have sex with their wife, and they can’t get it up, it’s not because they can’t have an erection, it’s for another reason!
They are married!
They’re in love!
What Is That Reason?
Well, now you’re going to find out, you won’t find it anywhere else, but I have spent 35 years studying this stuff and helping people overcome this problem. And you can overcome it with a variety of tools.
But let’s understand the biology first of men and women falling in love.
When you fall in love with your partner, if you’re a man and you love her what happens is, you have great sex, and you bond with her after every climax you have with her.
There’s a big release of oxytocin.
Oxytocin is the bonding hormone!
You become more attached to her, you love her more, she’s more important to you, you miss her, you care for her, you live your life prioritizing “what can I do over here to make her life better?”.
This Is Called Attachment.
She becomes a part of you, well, what happens with oxytocin (the same thing happens to a woman when she climaxes) he has this oxytocin as well! Women actually have a more prominent release of oxytocin than men, which is why after a woman has sex with a guy right away and they don’t have much of a relationship she has a massive release of oxytocin, and now she’s bonded to him.
She says “why isn’t he calling, where is he, I’m missing him, I can’t live without him, ” and all these insecurities start coming up. This is true for men as well.
Men have some insecurities too because for men, what happens, is that when oxytocin gets released, it has a different effect on a man. Oxytocin makes a woman bond more, for a man he bonds and then something goes “wait a second… I’m bonding… Oxytocin is flowing in my body.”
Oxytocin has the effect of lowering testosterone, and I’m a guy, and I need 30 times more testosterone than a woman needs. Your average male requires 30 times more! Your muscle man needs 40 times more; your politician needs 50 times more along with criminals. Certain people have a genetic makeup that requires that they have more testosterone to be healthy and balanced.
So, what happens is that high testosterone gets suppressed if you have high oxytocin. So, you love a woman – oxytocin gets produce which pushes your testosterone down. You can see this right after a climax.
I have friends who are rock ‘n’ roll stars, they’ll go after one groupie, another groupie, they’re lined up outside – they have appointments, one sex after another after another after another. There’s hardly any recovery time needed for the man after having sex. Why is that?
Because, when he’s having sex, he’s having sex with groupies, he doesn’t even know them, he doesn’t care about them, and he doesn’t want to see them again. That’s called nonpersonal sex. When a man has nonpersonal sex, there’s no oxytocin, so when he climaxes, there are minimal amounts of oxytocin produced, so it doesn’t diminish his testosterone.
So, his libido was still there, ready for another one. He has his orgasm, a little bit of oxytocin gets released to allow the ejaculation, but yet, the testosterone isn’t diminished because he doesn’t care about the woman.
They’ve even found that when a man has sex with a prostitute (someone he doesn’t care about) not only can he have sex again and again and again right afterward but, typically, there’s actually a change in the physiological response. There’s another brain chemical that gets produced called prolactin.
So, if a guy has sex with his wife, there’s a lot of oxytocin. Oxytocin gets released – prolactin gets produced the more he loves her, the more prolactin gets produced. Prolactin affects a male causing them not to be interested in sex. All men who have low libido have high prolactin levels.
We will get to how to lower your prolactin levels, but first, you need to understand that high prolactin reduces libido and high oxytocin causes prolactin to increase.
If you love the woman you’re having sex with, your prolactin levels are going to go higher, and you’re becoming less interested in sex!
Now, Why Would It Need To Be That Way?
Because, if you love a woman, you’re going to have sex with her and your chances of having a baby are greater so you can’t have this guy running around thinking about sex all the time. He needs to be thinking about taking care of his children.
Also, when you have these little children, especially your daughters, it’s not healthy to be attracted sexually to your female children. There is a mechanism inside of men that keep them from being attracted to their children. They love their children; they bond with their children, there are massive amounts of oxytocin that gets produced in a man. Especially when it’s his child and particularly when the child is little.
Small children cause more oxytocin… I can care for you; I can lift you, I’m responsible for you, etc. all that generates an enormous amount of bonding with the child, which prevents him from having a libido when he’s thinking about the child. Also, he’s thinking about his wife, and that prevents him from thinking about other women by diminishing his libido it creates a higher chance of the man being there for the woman while she’s raising the children.
So, this is the whole evolutionary process; it’s flawlessly devised so that men are satisfied with one woman. Before falling in love with the one woman, men are not happy with one woman.
I want this one, but what about that one and that one and that one and why not, it’s like in a candy store. It’s all fun and great but when you love a woman, and you start being intimate with her then what happens is more prolactin occurs, and more oxytocin happens, and the testosterone levels drop, and you get sleepy.
When testosterone levels drop, you get sleepy. Too much oxytocin makes men sleepy. Tired or they feel that they have to go somewhere to rebuild that testosterone.
So, if you have sex with your husband and he falls asleep afterward, what does that mean?
It Says He Loves You…
This is a good point because women are going “why isn’t he more affectionate, why isn’t he closer to me, why isn’t he sharing, why doesn’t he want to talk about his day?” Does he want to go to sleep, why?
Because he loves you! Oxytocin got released, testosterone went down, but over time this can cause low libido and less sex in the relationship.
So how do you counter that?
Prolactin! You take something that lowers prolactin. In a typical historical situation, it shows that if a man is faced with danger – danger suppresses prolactin and increases libido. But we don’t have that much uncertainty in our lives.
We live soft lives but if a man works hard, faces danger and challenge that will increase dopamine, which will lower prolactin and his libido will come back. So, to sustain your desire in a marriage, there are behavioral things you can do, and there are supplements you can take!
Behaviorally you need to do challenging things, that’s on the behavioral side, we will get to that in a minute, but on the physiological side, anything that boosts your dopamine will lower your prolactin. So what will increases your dopamine function in your brain is grapeseed extract and vitamin C – 300 to 600 mg of grape seed extract a day and 600 to 1200 mg of vitamin C. Twice the amount of vitamin C to the amount of grapeseed extract.
Start with about 600 mg of grape seed extract for a while, and you can cut it back once your levels in your body become normalized.
For a few months of 600 mg of grapeseed extract and twice that in vitamin C – that is going to increase more dopamine in your brain. You could also get a supplement of tyrosine if you want but it’s not always necessary.
Whatever it says on the bottle for a regular dose of tyrosine would be okay. Tyrosine also converts right into dopamine, so you want to bump the dopamine level. The best thing along with that is to take some libido-boosting supplements such as VigRX Plus, Male Extra, ProSolution Plus Pills or ExtenZe.
These libido enhancers and supplements we have just mentioned namely VigRX Plus, Male Extra, ProSolution Plus Pills and ExtenZe come with the super minerals for men. Of all the minerals necessary to make dopamine, particularly chromium.
Chromium helps to regulate dopamine receptor sites up and make dopamine more efficient in lowering prolactin. So where over here increasing dopamine which gives us motivation and energy and in turn increases libido dramatically and substantially.
Everything you need is all right there. For you contained in specially formulated libido boosting supplements and pills. That’s why they were first developed.